boris the spider part deux

look, australia, i get it.

you have large arachnids here. they like to lurk on the outside of my house and watch me while i hang out the washing. this is fine. perhaps they have no better way to occupy their time. maybe i did something to aggravate them & they've sent out some of their hit men to keep an eye (or eight) on me. i won't yet assume that you are overcompensating for something else. (you know what they say about countries with large spiders...).

however, i'd like for you to view this situation as a venn diagram with 2 circles, one being my habitat and the other being the habitat of abnormally, nay, grotesquely large spiders. these two circles are not allowed to intersect. in fact, my circle is barricaded with flypaper and insect repellant. i can peacefully coexist with your obscenely large/often poisonous animal life provided our paths do not cross as often as they have been lately. as of now, i have emerged from these encounters unscathed, but i have a feeling that this war is not yet over. therefore, tonight i will be sleeping with a fly swatter in my left hand and one eye open. see who wins now, mothaf*ckas.