the hottest spot south of havana

i'd like to give thanks to my homeboy steve (aka "the lumberjack") for reminding me about a story that was in the news last june/july. apparently, authorities in a suburb of sydney (please note that melbourne was not involved in any way) decided to blast barry manilow tunes in local parks to drive out obnoxious hoodlums. click on the following links for full details, and be sure not to miss the deputy mayor's profession of love for ABBA and celine dion in the post article. clearly, taste is no stranger to the residents of rockdale, NSW:


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/5047610.stm

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/17/AR2006071700469.html


the fact that barry beat stephen colbert, my personal lord and saviour, for last year's emmy award would be enough to drive me out of the park in protest, but that is neither here nor there. what is worth noting is the fact that barry himself issued a statement about the situation, which i have taken from the website of barry's international fan club (http://www.barrynet.com/ ...no, really) and pasted here for your enjoyment:


To Whom It May Concern:

I've been reading about Rockdale, Australia's decision to blast my music 24 hours a day in a park that appeals to hoodlums and their hope that my music will drive the hoodlums away. Frankly, I think that if you played ANYONE'S music for that long you'd drive any rationally minded human being out-of-their mind!

But, have they thought that the hoodlums might like my music? What if some of them began to sing along with "Can't Smile Without You"? Or lit candles on "I Write The Songs"? Or, heaven forbid, dance around the grounds to the infectious beat of "Copacabana"? What if it attracted more hoodlums and not rid them of the ones that were already there? What if it brought people together? What if it put smiles on their faces? What if the absurdity of this plan began to hit everyone at the same time and everyone began to laugh and become friends? That's what my music usually does for people.

The council may have their adjectives mixed up. My music has been called "Catchy" (easy to remember because of having an effective melody, not "Catchy" (Able to be caught).

Good luck.
Barry Manilow


perhaps barry is on to something. perhaps we should take the lessons of rockdale and extrapolate them to the international community. maybe a touch of manilow is exactly what has been missing from diplomatic relations of late. just imagine condoleezza rice hand-in-hand with mahmoud ahmadinejad, swaying "to the infectious beat of 'copacabana'." or the members of the G8 bonding over the heartwrenching strains of "mandy" at their annual summit. this type of progressive thinking has been noticeably absent in today's political climate, and is truly a breath of fresh air from the usual rhetoric. maybe, just maybe, barry deserves not just the emmy, but a nobel prize.