looking for love in all the wrong places

many thanks to lindsay, my parner in crime, for stumbling upon this website on a lazy friday afternoon:

http://www.weirddatingmail.com/

(click on the "categories" links on the left for a comprehensive list of the offending mail).

a variety of emotions are coursing through my brain as i read these e-mails. i have yet to venture into the sordid world of online dating, but part of me wants to take the plunge simply for the potential that gems like these could await me in my inbox after a long day at work. on the other hand, is THIS the shallow, pesticide-contaminated pool that we single people have to fish from these days? are these emotionally-baggaged crazies just fodder for the laughter of us (comparatively) normal people, or have they finally interbred and outnumbered us? are they lurking in their natural match.com habitat, waiting to strike at any moment?

not-so-tangentially, i have been considering the potential benefits of arranged marriage of late. i love my parents, i feel as though we have a healthy and understanding relationship, and i am relatively certain that swen & clowny would pick an excellent husband for me. clowny himself once said, "i don't care if you bring home a biker, just don't bring home an asshole." clearly his standards are of the highest caliber. (and good thing they never met the republican).

my two favourite e-mails are both listed in the UFOs category. the first is labelled from hallmark. the second is entitled and what would those be, when the sender tells the recipient that her ex-boyfriend was "too much of a white supremacist," (don't we all have our own thresholds of white supremacy?) and says, "you'd be amazed about all the things you can do with mashed potato buds."

i have a few interesting uses for mashed potato buds that might amaze some people.