jonesin' for some man meat

can you smell that? that aromatic mix of testosterone, athleticism, homoeroticism, and perfectly sculpted biceps? it can only mean one thing: it is once again footy season in melbourne.

i had grandiose plans to commemorate this event with a whole host of photos of shirtless AFL players, enough partial nudity to potentially get this blog removed from the web once and for all. i mean, go big or go home, right? like footy shorts, this blog hopes to leave very little to the imagination and i, for one, think we need to embrace that sort of brazen perspective. however, i have been thwarted by occurrences beyond my control, and i would like to take this time to both explain and, i suppose, justify the reason why there is no shirtless AFL player staring you down at this very moment, with his piercing eyes and meaty thighs and abs out of which you could lick chocolate syrup/honey/whipping cream/vegemite/a combination of the above...but i digress...

during my first stint in the melb circa 2k4, i was not-so-innocently perusing the internet when i stumbled upon the veritable mecca of scantily-clad footballers: shirtlessafl.com. after my reluctant return to america i became a regular visitor; every time i felt a pang of longing for australia or a wave of frustration as to why our own athletes couldn't be as well-endowed, i would stop by that website and know that all was right with the world. besides the obvious reasons why such a creation would be fantastic, the OCD facet of my personality would like to note that the creator clearly put some TLC into the layout and design. all the photos were categorised appropriately and it was quite an easy site to navigate. it was, in a word, perfection.

so imagine the pain that gripped my solar plexus the day i attempted to quickly peruse shirtlessafl and found this. where once there were heaps of muscles and bare skin as far as the eye could see, now were strange advertisements and absolutely nothing footy-related (or, more importantly, naked man-related). ever the intrepid googler, i quickly found out that the gay community was also up in arms about the situation, so at least i was not alone in my plight. in my frantic state, i even happened upon a site that claimed to feature the armpits of afl players, but it had also been taken off the web. (it seems as though they were catering to a very specific subset of the population, but perhaps armpit fetishists are more abundant than we think. has anyone ever seen the movie flirting with disaster?)

the best site i have found to date is the photo gallery at gayfooty.com.au (i really hope the government is tracking my internet usage: "well THIS is an interesting turn of events..."), and it even provides a clue as to why shirtlessafl was taken off the web. apparently the photo gallery at this new site came under fire for copyright issues and because some of the photos may or may not have been taken without permission. i also think that the players were none too pleased about having their photos strewn about a gay website, but i'm just reading between the lines. there is certainly potential that shirtlessafl was removed from the web for the same issues, but at this point in time it remains a mystery.

i implore you to bear with me while i attempt to navigate this newly treacherous terrain. someday soon, when you least expect it, i will begin to post shirtless photos of my favourite footy player du jour. if all goes well, i may even attempt to organise something on a regular basis, a more erotic version of this site. i'm hoping that some more google sleuthing will provide the fodder that i need. however, as i am not sure how much more gay porn i am willing to sift through, i am fully prepared to take one for the team and stalk around the locker rooms at the MCG with my camera. watch for me on the evening news.